Lucca

Sorry, I haven't been kidnapped, just busy.

Saturday Mona and I go to Lucca. I'd heard a lot about it (and it sounds like my nephew's name) so I was excited to go. You can definitely see the effects of autumn, everything is in shades of yellow, orange, and red. I love it!

Lucca is not nearly as big as I expected. I do find it quite charming though. There are not too many people, lots of ancient buildings, and it's enclosed in a pretty awesome wall. 

I wish I could say, oh I saw _____! And it is so _____! But really, I have I have no idea what I'm looking at. I just occasionally glance at the photos in the postcard shop. I figure if someone made it in to a postcard, it's worth seeing. Even though I would love to know the history of everything, I'm happier than I expected just to wander around where I want, and take pictures of anything I find interesting.

I don't count the number of churches I see in any city, because there are just too many. If you think there are a lot of churches in the "bible belt", you haven't been to Italy.

I like how all the churches have bell towers. The little songs are a nice way to announce the time (unless it is 12, then they go on forever.)

The town is completely deserted when Mona and I arrive. The only people we see are other tourists. Mona decides I am in charge of the map (she doesn't know me well.) I do quite well with it, and I am even able to help a few other lost tourists.

We wander around Lucca for an hour and realize we've seen everything. Really didn't expect that! Mona chooses a place to eat lunch (everything is the same to me) and we talk about the differences in Denmark/Italy/America. We also continue to discuss how unfair it is that the school is splitting us. I really enjoy her company, and giving her the crazy face when our teacher is talking fast.

After lunch we continue our walk. At every intersection we have a quick discussion on which way to go. Some how we end up on the top of the wall, which is wide enough for pedestrians, lots of bicycles, and a car or two if they could drive up stairs. The views are wonderful. There's plenty of grass, mountains, blue skies, and leaves in all shades. The wall is lined with trees.

Because it is not a responsibility many people trust me with, I forget I am in charge of the map. My impulsive decisions brought us up the wall, but I can't find a way back down. I ask for help from a middle aged man and his wife, and for the first time in Italy I am rejected. I am really shocked, because Italians as a whole are extremely willing to help, especially when you attempt to ask in Italian. I ask the next person I see, who unfortunately isn't from Lucca but points us in the general direction.

On our way back to the train station, Mona and I agree that Lucca is smaller than expected but a great place to spend an afternoon walking.

Sunday I go to the mall with Dany and his cousin. Apparently everyone in Lucca, Pisa, and Tuscany in general wants to shop here. Dany is surprised I don't go crazy shopping- I am an American woman, right? (I am tempted, but I'm with two boys and I know I would make them crazy.) He also tells me I am amazingly pale for a Floridian. I want to tease back, but unfortunately the only thing I can think of is "yo momma", and I know that is not an option to say in Italy.

I'm in Trouble

At the 10 minute break halfway through class, I get called in to the director's office. Why does this feel like going to the principal's office? Stop freaking out. What did I do? Did I accidentally offend someone? Maybe something happened with my payment. No, I already paid. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Director greets me and tells me to sit down. A woman I've never seen before closes the door behind me. No! Closed doors are bad! The woman then sits next to me, and I look at her and awkward smile and look back at the director. Try to think of what I did while silently practicing "sorry" in Italian.

Director: "We talked to your teacher."
Me: Oh no, this is about the penis thing.
Director: "She says you are learning very quickly."
Me: Huh? "Me? Learning quickly?"
Director: "Yes. Why, you don't think so?"
Me: Crap, I gave the wrong answer. "Oh, well, maybe...?"
Director: "Today your teacher will give you private lessons after your class. We are going to teach you what the other students in your first class know. Then you will go back to that class Monday."
Me: Noooooo! "Oh, okay."

Spend a total of 3 hours in morning class. Leave for 1 hour break and talk with Mona (from Denmark) about how much I don't want to go back to my original class. I don't know how on earth my teacher thinks I can handle the fast class, I still can't remember whether I am cold or I have cold. And if I have cold, whether I am a man or woman. (For the record, ho freddo.) Mona isn't thrilled about me leaving either, because now she will be with a new group of students. She orders wine for lunch and apologizes for drinking so early in the day. I remind her we're in Italy, no worries.

Go back for one-on-one tutoring with the teacher. Learn to speak in past tense (while constantly accidentally referring to myself as a man.) Teacher cuts lesson short when she sees my eyes rolling back in to my head (literally.) Decide not to speak any language for the next two hours. Brain is beyond dead.

Laundry Lessons

Wake up to rain this morning, which was very bad news because I decided to do laundry last night. Unfortunately, I ran across a few problems and simple chore turned in to yet another lesson in Italian culture. Must add the following mental notes.

a) Italian washing machines are super small.
b) Italian washing machines are written only in universal symbols.
c) Universal symbols are universal only to Italians.
d) Tiny washing machines take a long time. A really long time.
e) When finishing laundry and Italians are home, they will give strange looks and offer to help confused American girls.
f) In Italy all laundry is dried outside on a line.
g) If you are unsure about hanging brightly colored underwear like it is a new country's flag, you must hang it inside across the foot of  bed.
h) Italians give more funny looks when hanging underwear on bed.
i) No matter what weather.com says, if there are clothes on the line it will rain all night and the next morning.
j) Americans are spoiled, and sometimes it's a very nice thing.
(Eventually I found a lavanderia and dried my clothes there.)

Later I conclude that I am overly eligible for the consistently misunderstood award. The more I attempt to speak Italian, the more I learn not everything translates well. Use word "stupid" in front of Dany's family and eliminate it from my vocabulary immediately following shocked faces. (Also decide not to let waiter choose pizza for me because he chooses a pizza that looks like a salad. Very tasty, but extremely messy to eat and thus I also qualify for slob award.)

Will close with this lovely exert from class:

Assignment: Describe picture on worksheet aloud to teacher and fellow classmate. Have teacher and classmate draw picture based on what you say.

(several minutes into assignment.)

Me: In the center of the plaza, there is a statue.

Teacher: What does the statue look like?

Me: Uh, it's tall.

Teacher: Is it a statue of a man or of a woman?

Me: Uh... no... 

Teacher: ...

(Rack my brain for a word to describe it. Hate having limited vocabulary.)

Me: Un pene.

Teacher: What?

(Feel face turning red.)

Me: Un pene. It's a penis.

Teacher: (laughing) Let me see.

(Hand her worksheet)

Teacher: (laughing) There are better words to describe that.

(It kinda looked like this.)

Sunshine!

Wake up this morning and peek out of the blinds to see beautiful sunshine! Am so excited it is not raining I get dressed in record time. Grab new, very expensive hair dryer and try to shove plug into tiny holes in the wall Italians call an outlet. Will not fit. Try every outlet in room before giving up. Make it to the bus stop quick enough to catch the early bus. Early bus does not come early because of horrible traffic. Fellow bus riders look quite angry, but I am smiling because the sun is shining!

Early bus that is running late gets me to school exactly on time. My teacher has a lot of patience, but I can tell by the look on her face she isn't thrilled by my horrible pronunciation. I try my hardest to guess, but sometimes g is guh and sometimes it is juh and sometimes c is chu and sometimes it is cuh. Usually, our conversation proceeds with the teacher reminding me this is not english class. So I try again. Then she reminds me this is not spanish either. I will learn one day, I hope.

School ends and before I know it, I've wandered halfway across the bridge that divides Pisa. All of this walking is improving my knowledge of Pisan roads, so I'm not too worried. Stumble upon tiny open market. Nothing too interesting, but the vegetables at the stand smell amazing. I never realized vegetables could have such a powerful smell. I walk back and forth in front of the stand sniffing until woman selling vegetables looks at me funny. I walk by one more time then sneek a picture.



I keep wandering around window shopping for clothes and jewelry that will never be in my price range (unless I one day marry a millionaire.) I do see a bookstore further down the road and never quite having enough willpower to resist any bookstore, I make a beeline. Most of the books look the same but in Italian. A few have different covers. I do notice the first book I ever learned to read in English and immediately know that this will be the first book I learn to read in Italian. I continue to be thrilled with today.

Get home after wonderful walk around Pisa and decide I can't just sit at home; there is always a possibility of rain tomorrow. Walk around and see Carrefour, which I'm quite sure is a giant car dealership. I definitely want to see how much a car in Pisa costs (solely to shock myself.)

Navigate crazy sidewalk towards Carrefour. I still close my eyes and hold my breath every time I step out in front of traffic, although this is probably not the best practice. The cars do consistently come to a screeching halt, thankfully. Cannot figure out how to get closer to the building, so I decide to walk up on-ramp. Not the best idea I've had, but the only car coming sees me and compensates their driving for my dumbness. See a sign for a store that sells food for dogs, cats, fish, birds, and toilets. Toilets?

Now that I am close to Carrefour I realize it is definitely not a place to buy a car. Walk in and am thrilled to realize it is another WalMart-like store complete with groceries and not nearly as full of people. I smile super huge at everyone and attempt to practice my horrible Italian with the cashier. Not really successful in speaking Italian, but really a great day overall.

Also learn via my dad's blog comment that mystery dresser is actually a well-disguised bed. Brava Italia, once again you surprise me!

All Saint's Day

Yesterday was a pretty simple day, filled with sitting around the house staring at the rain outside. Eventually Dany finished doing whatever he was doing and made the 45 minute trip to get me (a trip I'm sure he loathes by now.) We ate Chinese, and to say the restaurant was packed would be an understatement. Chinese here is a lot better than in America and no one questions if the meat is actually cat. 

Today I sleep in (again) because I am 99% sure I will wake up to the same rain as yesterday. Open up weird Italian blinds, and sure enough it is raining. I don't want to waste another day, so I get dressed, grab my umbrella, and head out in to the world. It is All Saint's Day in Italia, a holiday in which people celebrate the dead (and maybe saints?) In a Roman Catholic country this means everything comes to a stand still.

This indoor carousel is literally the only thing open.  It's still raining, and I keep walking around trying to deny it's slowly raining harder. After walking around 20 minutes under the now pouring sky, I decide to head back home. I give up on any significant adventures for today.

Attempt to watch Italian television, but only understand every 10th word. Try to watch The Office, but it is unavailable outside of the US. (Really want to smack whoever made this decision. The Office is the best thing we could possibly export.)

Eventually am bored enough to attempt wandering in the rain again. It's dusk, but I walk around until after dark in the rain. Find nothing open except tents selling key chains and t-shirts.

Come home to mystery that I have been unable to solve since day one. Some days, in the hall right outside my bedroom there is a dresser-like piece of furniture.

Other days, I come home and there is only a vase sitting on the floor. Sometimes dresser-like thing will disappear and reappear multiple times in one day. Someone is messing with the American girl's head.

Would like to add that the entire time I am writing, someone is outside holding their hand down on their car horn. As Dany would say, "Welcome to Italy."