I'm in Trouble

At the 10 minute break halfway through class, I get called in to the director's office. Why does this feel like going to the principal's office? Stop freaking out. What did I do? Did I accidentally offend someone? Maybe something happened with my payment. No, I already paid. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Director greets me and tells me to sit down. A woman I've never seen before closes the door behind me. No! Closed doors are bad! The woman then sits next to me, and I look at her and awkward smile and look back at the director. Try to think of what I did while silently practicing "sorry" in Italian.

Director: "We talked to your teacher."
Me: Oh no, this is about the penis thing.
Director: "She says you are learning very quickly."
Me: Huh? "Me? Learning quickly?"
Director: "Yes. Why, you don't think so?"
Me: Crap, I gave the wrong answer. "Oh, well, maybe...?"
Director: "Today your teacher will give you private lessons after your class. We are going to teach you what the other students in your first class know. Then you will go back to that class Monday."
Me: Noooooo! "Oh, okay."

Spend a total of 3 hours in morning class. Leave for 1 hour break and talk with Mona (from Denmark) about how much I don't want to go back to my original class. I don't know how on earth my teacher thinks I can handle the fast class, I still can't remember whether I am cold or I have cold. And if I have cold, whether I am a man or woman. (For the record, ho freddo.) Mona isn't thrilled about me leaving either, because now she will be with a new group of students. She orders wine for lunch and apologizes for drinking so early in the day. I remind her we're in Italy, no worries.

Go back for one-on-one tutoring with the teacher. Learn to speak in past tense (while constantly accidentally referring to myself as a man.) Teacher cuts lesson short when she sees my eyes rolling back in to my head (literally.) Decide not to speak any language for the next two hours. Brain is beyond dead.