Laundry Lessons

Wake up to rain this morning, which was very bad news because I decided to do laundry last night. Unfortunately, I ran across a few problems and simple chore turned in to yet another lesson in Italian culture. Must add the following mental notes.

a) Italian washing machines are super small.
b) Italian washing machines are written only in universal symbols.
c) Universal symbols are universal only to Italians.
d) Tiny washing machines take a long time. A really long time.
e) When finishing laundry and Italians are home, they will give strange looks and offer to help confused American girls.
f) In Italy all laundry is dried outside on a line.
g) If you are unsure about hanging brightly colored underwear like it is a new country's flag, you must hang it inside across the foot of  bed.
h) Italians give more funny looks when hanging underwear on bed.
i) No matter what weather.com says, if there are clothes on the line it will rain all night and the next morning.
j) Americans are spoiled, and sometimes it's a very nice thing.
(Eventually I found a lavanderia and dried my clothes there.)

Later I conclude that I am overly eligible for the consistently misunderstood award. The more I attempt to speak Italian, the more I learn not everything translates well. Use word "stupid" in front of Dany's family and eliminate it from my vocabulary immediately following shocked faces. (Also decide not to let waiter choose pizza for me because he chooses a pizza that looks like a salad. Very tasty, but extremely messy to eat and thus I also qualify for slob award.)

Will close with this lovely exert from class:

Assignment: Describe picture on worksheet aloud to teacher and fellow classmate. Have teacher and classmate draw picture based on what you say.

(several minutes into assignment.)

Me: In the center of the plaza, there is a statue.

Teacher: What does the statue look like?

Me: Uh, it's tall.

Teacher: Is it a statue of a man or of a woman?

Me: Uh... no... 

Teacher: ...

(Rack my brain for a word to describe it. Hate having limited vocabulary.)

Me: Un pene.

Teacher: What?

(Feel face turning red.)

Me: Un pene. It's a penis.

Teacher: (laughing) Let me see.

(Hand her worksheet)

Teacher: (laughing) There are better words to describe that.

(It kinda looked like this.)